


Baby Boom

by Whisper132



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-24
Updated: 2007-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whisper132/pseuds/Whisper132
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiyoshi and Ohtori are assigned a robobaby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Boom

Ohtori said his mother and father first picked out his name in a high school health class. They were paired together during Responsible Parenting Week and passed their baby boy egg, Choutarou, back and forth during the day.

Hiyoshi could've lived with an egg, but some bastard in a lab somewhere decided to make a realistic electronic baby instead of doing prosthetic limb research or curing cancer or whatever smart, functional people did. Now there was a heavy, awkward, squirming thing balanced on Hiyoshi's hip while his health teacher spewed out apologies.

"There were an uneven number of boys and girls this year," she said, checking their supply basket. "I thought, since you're both on the same team, you wouldn't mind doing the project together." She passed Ohtori some diapers. "It will be nice to see if an alternative setting has any bearing on the results."

"What do we do with it during tennis practice?" Ohtori looked at the baby bottle like it was an alien creature about to suck his brain out via his nose.

"That's for you boys to figure out. Consider it one of the challenges of raising a child." She patted Ohtori on the shoulder and handed him their basket. "Congratulations on your new daughter!"

  
****

  
"It spit on me." Hiyoshi held the baby at arm's length, dangling it over the tennis court. "I was giving it food and it spit on me."

"Babies spit," Gakuto said, taking the crying plastic thing and burping it. "Ours had gas last year, but if you pat it on the back, it stopped crying." He handed the baby back and the crying started anew.

"It hates me. You keep it." He shoved the kid back at Gakuto and ran to find Ohtori, who never seemed to have the crying, spitting, diaper soiling issues. The stupid robot baby seemed to think Ohtori was its mother, even though robot babies weren't supposed to be sentient.

"I've got practice with Yuushi!" Gakuto snarled, bouncing the baby on his hip. "What's he gonna say when I come over with some other guy's kid?"

"Hey Gakuto, you got something you'd like to tell us?" Shishido sauntered onto the court, Ohtori following behind him. "You and Oshitari adopt or something?"

Gakuto adjusted the baby's poseable hand so it was giving Shishido the finger. "Fuck off, asshole. I'm just babysitting for your doubles partner's wife. Ohtori! Come get your assignment before I drop it and you fail for battering your kid."

Ohtori's legs carried him to his daughter in four long strides. "I'm sorry for the trouble Mukahi-senpai. Wakashi was supposed to be watching her."

Hiyoshi withered under Ohtori's cold stare. "It was crying," he said, and showed his fake vomit stained jersey. "And it spit on me."

Ohtori burped the kid and turned away. "There, there. Papa's here now." The robot let out a loud belch and a delighted squeal.

"You're on the couch tonight, tough guy."

Hiyoshi tried to send a punch to Gakuto's head, but lost his balance when Ohtori turned to glare at him again.

"Get my bag, Wakashi, we're skipping practice and spending time with Sayuri today. Unless you'd rather fight during family time."

Quickly, and amidst the snickers of the team, Hiyoshi retrieved their tennis bags and the disgusting yellow and baby blue polka dot bag Ohtori's mother purchased for Sayuri's things.

  
*****

  
He hadn't slept in three nights. The stupid thing kept crying and crying and crying and, even though Hiyoshi was staying at Ohtori's place 'for the sake of the project,' he hadn't gotten so much as a goodnight kiss, let alone the goodnight gropes that he was accustomed to when spending the night at Ohtori's.

"Get me that bottle of formula, would you?" Choutarou was wearing an apron and a handkerchief tied around his head. He had fake baby vomit all over his shoulder but didn't seem to care.

Hiyoshi grabbed the formula and put it in front of Ohtori before taking Sayuri and placing her in Choutarou's old high chair. "Want me to get you a new shirt or start the laundry or something?" Ohtori's family was away for the weekend, the child's crying having driven them to visit relatives up north. Ohtori's mother said it would also make things 'more authentic.' Hiyoshi thought she just wanted a free house cleaning.

He was surprised when strong hands clamped onto his hips and dragged him back to rest against Ohtori's chest. "She's been really quiet today," Ohtori whispered. "Maybe all the crying last night wore her out."

"Not in front of the kid," Hiyoshi whimpered, unable to speak properly through the tremors caused by Ohtori's teeth scraping against his earlobe.

"It's plastic, Wakashi. It'll never know." Ohtori whipped off his apron and vomit shirt, then draped his handkerchief over Sayuri's mechanical eyes. "Better?"

Hiyoshi didn't have a chance to reply.

  
****

  
Nobody said anything about there being a recording device in the robot baby. None of the pamphlets mentioned that, for three minutes after every cry, the baby's recorder switched on so the instructor could verify that the student was saying wonderful, soothing things to the child.

 _Dammit Choutarou, not so hard. You're going to break my hip!_

Hiyoshi cringed. Did his voice really get that high? He jumped when he heard Ohtori's hand smack against his backside. The spot still smarted, two days later.

 _Are you complaining, Wakashi-kun? After I spent all day watching our child and making you dinner?_

Ohtori had the decency to blush, even though he was looking at their teacher defiantly, daring her say anything to their parents.

 _Ah! Choutarou!_

Their teacher stopped the recording. "Boys?"

Hiyoshi tried to hide in the safety of his blazer while Ohtori did all the talking. "Yes, sensei?" Hiyoshi didn't know how Ohtori could still be so calm after listening to them…after that.

"I'm lowering your grade by one for negligence. But, because your child came back with the highest overall score, I will not fail you." She looked everywhere but at Ohtori and, for a brief moment, Hiyoshi really felt a kinship with the poor lady. "I will leave your private concerns out of my report if you both write a five page reflection for use in my Masters research."

"Five pages!"

Ohtori grabbed Hiyoshi by the sleeve and pulled him back into his seat. "We'd be honored to assist you with your research, sensei." Choutarou smiled his boy next door smile before excusing himself and Hiyoshi out of the small classroom they were using. "I think that went well," he said, patting Hiyoshi on the backside. "You shouldn't get so riled up, though, Wakashi. You almost ruined our escape."

"Yeah. Right."

"When we do have a kid, we'll have to make sure we do it in the other room. And that you're a little more quiet." Ohtori removed his tie and gestured toward the janitorial closet. "I have an idea I want to try out. Let's go."

Hiyoshi didn't argue, even though he knew Ohtori's ideas were never comfortable and usually cost him both academically and socially. It was hard to make witty comebacks when all you really wanted to do was sit on an icepack because your stupid boyfriend didn't know what was appropriate and what wasn't in a school environment.

Still, Ohtori got them a B, which was more than Hiyoshi was expecting, so he could be a little lenient today.


End file.
